Hello old friends. It's been a while, I know. The reality is... parenting is hard. I got busy. I got tired. I got sick. I got sick again. Then I got sick again. Then I got tired. Then I felt pressure that my next blog would need to be super awesome b/c it had been so long. Then I wrote a blog on vaccines and decided not to post it. Then I procrastinated...and got sick again...and here we are. Trying to catch you up on 2 months worth of living with an infant would be more so a novel than a blog...so we're just gonna skip that part and it'll always be known as the mysterious months for all of you. What happened? You'll never know. Muhahahaha

Since I last spoke with you guys, I travelled across the country with a baby, took a plane, a train, an uber...tried sleep training...tried "cry it out"...met Santa (that was fun/click to read) ...overheard another mom talkin' shit and laid the smack down...the list goes on and on. 

40 weeks pregnant vs 4 months postpartum

I am 122 lbs, which is kind of awesome. I'm 6 lbs lighter than I was when I was bumpin' uglies with Anthony back in December 2014 [ie date of conception/pre-pregnancy]. What's my secret? I have a massive baby. And he's massive, b/c he eats a lot. The more he eats, the more weight I lose. I can barely keep up. At this point I'm consuming between 2500-3000 calories a day and drinking 1.5 gallons of water. Granted I'm eating ridiculously healthy. I eat so many fruits, vegetables and nuts and just like...super healthy meals you pin on your Pinterest Board but never eat? Ya I eat them. And not for nothing, but I use to sit at a desk for 8 hours a day collecting cellulite. Now? Now I lift a massive baby around like an 80s workout model wearing arm and leg weights. Out of the crib, in the crib, bounce on the pillow, sit up, stand up, lift onto the changing table, lift into bath, pick up baby and stand up. Killian Circuit Training is gonna give me some Michelle Obama arms pretty soon. So ya...healthy diet, breastfeed and have a fat baby. <------the secret to losing weight. Because of this...I posted a totally vein photo of me on Instagram. Whatever. I'm 31. I'm proud I bounced back.

Me? The "Unluckiest Human in 2015"...ok ok ok that was a bit dramatic, but damn. My pregnancy's motto was..."If it could go wrong, it will." And then there was that horror scene of a labor. Postpartum, though? I was like..."Oh this isn't so bad"..and "Nice to meet you light at the end of the tunnel." I was healing, stitches dissolved, no postpartum depression. Victory was mine. Then...I got the flu shot. And that same day...I got the fucking flu...from the shot. It was terrible. I got fever, chills, aches...even my hair hurt. Felt like I was dying. While laying down quivering, Anthony would bring Killian to my nipple like I was a 24/7 drive thru serving up McNipples. Thankfully, the next day the flu was gone.

Cut to the day after ...I started getting cramps. My first thought was, oh wow...maybe I'm getting my period...which would be odd since I'm breastfeeding [EVERY SECOND OF MY LIFE], but it feels like period cramps. Each day the cramps got worse. I wasn't worried. I figured this had to be a normal postpartum thing and it'd pass. Cramps got worse. Then I thought it might be something I was eating or drinking. Over the next two weeks I ruled out every single thing in my diet including the type of water I was drinking. At the end of those two weeks?... the flu up and smacked me in the face AGAIN! So I reopened the drive thru window and fed my #1 customer. All I could think, was that I was so sleep deprived from Killian, that my immune system wasn't functioning correctly and the flu wasn't quite being eradicated. The next day the flu was gone, but the cramps were not. Over the next two weeks the pain escalated...turning into multiple trips to the gyno, vaginal ultrasounds, abdominal ultrasounds, pelvic checks, the works. No cysts, no tumor, no endometriosis, no left behind placenta...no nothing. There was "no cause for the cramping." 

At this point I get referred to a gyno surgeon and was told to "prepare for a DNC or Laparotomy." I was scared, beaten down, in pain...and on the verge of a mental breakdown. How long can a person be sick? For reals?? I go in and meet with a fancy Jewish doctor...I liked him. He listened. Together we ruled out at least 80 diseases I'd found on google. haha poor guy. 

He then cleans my cervix, flushes my uterus, takes a urine sample and he asks me to tell him my life story... anything I can think of that might be related. Felt like I was on an episode of House and I had this rare disease that everyone wanted to figure out. I told him everything. I told him all about my pregnancy, my labor, my platelets and then threw out there ,"I don't know if this means anything but...I did get the flu shot and then the cramps the day after." He says "Lets run a full blood panel on you. I'm curious if your platelets have gone back to normal...and lets rule out an infection. Vaccines can sometimes compromise an immune system for a few days and give way to sicknesses sneaking in, so lets just take a look."

Results? My white blood cells were elevated AND antigens that fight off parasites were present. I'll spare you the details, but poo samples were in fact dropped off at various laboratories to check to see if A TAPEWORM OR SOMETHING WAS GROWING INSIDE OF ME. Anthony joked that if it was a tapeworm, "I should just leave it in until I was at my ideal weight". Anthony got major side eye. Turns out I didn't have a parasite. I did have a uterine infection.

So the flu shot...gave me the flu. By my count I ended up regurgitating that same flu strain 4 times. It also gave way for a uterine infection to attack my compromised immune system. It ALSO has made me violently lactose intolerance, which is almost like ruining my life. I used to eat cheese by the pound. It was one of my main food groups, but after that shot, if I so much as eat a bite of pizza...to say "my stomach gets slightly upset" would be like saying "Donald Trump is slightly against Mexicans". But that was 2015 ya'll. 2016 is gonna be so much better. Cheese-less, but better. 

I have good days and I have bad days. Nothing to do with milk supply or latching. All the normal stuff is in order...it's just that breastfeeding is not for the weary. It is in fact...life-consuming. Every 3 hours of every day....of every week, of every month...I'm a slave to the breast. If I accidentally skip 1 of my 7 meals a day, I feel like I might collapse and face plant into my floor. My life takes place in incredibly exhausting 3 hour increments <------and that wears you down. There's been tears, cracked nipples and many times saying to Anthony, "I just can't do it anymore, 2 months is enough...3 months is enough....4 months is enough." He always says, "Whatever you think is best." ...And then it's feeding time and out comes the ole boob. I mean how can I take away the single greatest thing in Killian's life? Seriously...my boob is his BFF. He laughs at it...he plays with it...he talks to it. So whatever. I'll keep the boob train going for another day. I'll likely have to introduce rice cereal to him in the coming months to help sustain his weight.

On Christmas day, Killian properly laughed. He's laughed here and there for a while...but just a "ha" or "hehe" or a silent laugh. After his bath on Christmas night, he was full on giggling. He, for whatever reason, thought Anthony was the most hysterical thing on planet earth. I got the tail end of it on video and have watched it almost 42,000 times. It is so awesome. Like seriously the greatest sound in the universe. You can see it on my Instagram

My EVERY DAY attempt at trying to get Killian on a schedule. This kid...he lives his own life and no book or blog or insanely tired mommy is going to change it. Give me all the advice you want but there's no MAKING a baby sleep. He wakes up once or twice at night (8pm-7am) and takes about 4 naps during the day. And his naps are just long enough to... do absolutely nothing. I will not give up. I will not give up. I will not give up.

-When a baby gets congested, they get eye goop, b/c their sinuses aren't that developed.[warm cloth, massage the tear ducts, don't freak out]

-Airplane changing tables are basically seat trays in the bathroom. #eyeroll

-Babies poo less frequently the older they get. No more 4-5 times a day. Now he's on a once a day or every other day schedule...thus making the smell potency much more ferocious. 

One thing I'm gonna let you in on, b/c there's really no hiding it...is that my baby is massive. Like no joke I have the biggest baby ever. He's in the +97% percentile across the board, wearing 6-9 month clothing and rocking size 3 diapers. At his 2 month check up he had already doubled his birth weight (15 lbs 6 oz). I kid you not, his pediatrician did the whole "I think the scale is broken, lets go in the other room to double check" AGAIN! The nurse said and I quote, "This has to be some kind of world record." #AnotherBreastfeedingMedalForMe? So Yes... I'm aware he is big for his age. No...he is not 6 months old. Yes...he only eats boob milk. No...I'm not aware of why my boob milk is so potent. Its just how we Quintrall women roll. Here is a photo of my nephew, Andrew, when he was 5 months. #goals 


*I'm pretty sure Killian is somewhere between 18-19 lbs. I'll know for sure in a couple weeks at his 4 month check up.

*Neck control is a glorious thing. He now sits up on the Bumbo without slouching and showing off all his chins.... like in this 3 month photo of him! 


*Laughing. Every time he does it, I feel relieved that he probably will be a good person...b/c good ppl laugh. Right?

*Hands in mouth...ALL THE TIME. Everything he grabs...goes in his mouth. In fact, he could not stop crying yesterday b/c his 8 x 10 inch book wouldn't fit in his 1 inch mouth. #physics

*He found his feet. He grabs them when he tries to poop. Seems efficient.

*He pinches like a crab...and it fucking hurts. He's nipped me several times...got shelby once :/ When I tell him to stop he laughs at me. #serialkiller?

*Sticks his tongue out and mimics chewing whenever he watches me eat breakfast. 

*He rolled over for the first time today! I was so happy for him I cried. You hear that? I cried b/c my baby rolled over. Marty will do more than that for a beef treat.

He granted me my Christmas wish...A NAP! Color me confused when I woke up and heard coo-ing coming from the bathroom. I opened the door. This is what I saw. I'm like, "What are you doing?" He said, "I had to pee...and didn't know what to do with him...so I'm sitting down." #MaleParenting #DaddyIngenuity

Shelby loves him. Marty ignores him. Willow is jealous. She sits on the boppy pillow whenever she can...and the only toys she wants to play with are Killian's. #BitchesRight?

END OF THE WEEK THOUGHTS: Slow down baby boy...slow down. :(