I think I've discovered the secret to "making it as a parent". And by "making it" I mean surviving the day. It's all about routine, lists, schedules...and the ability to forgive yourself when it completely falls apart. Before I go to bed every night...I make a schedule for the next day and a list of everything I need to do in order of priority. I make grocery lists, chore lists, to do lists, to buy lists, list lists...so many lists...and I just go through my day crossing things off. It gives me sanity. I don't have to remember what I need to do...I just read it and try and widdle it down. I schedule feedings, naps, my meals, even when I do laundry. 97% of the time it falls apart by 2PM, but it just helps me to not feel overwhelmed. When you're a parent you have to stay 2 steps ahead so you don't fall 18 steps behind. Look at this sign I made to fend off all the crazies who come to my door during the day? #PinterestMomInTraining 

I am now 121 lbs. (7 lbs less than pre-prego weight) A few of you seemed interested in what I was eating so here's what a typical day looks like for me food-wise. 

I started UFC fit with Anthony and two parental friends of ours who live in Colorado. We started a group text to complain about how much this sucks and hurts...and trade belly fat photos of ourselves.  #MiseryLovesCompany #ImLookingAtYouLydia

Thankfully, my health seems back to normal!  Unfortunately, my luscious locks have begun to shed. Thinking of making a fur coat or something...

Since it's been so cold, we've had the heating going...ergo dry air, ergo dry nipples, thus requiring lots and lots of oil, booby-ease and lanolin.

I'm not sure why this hasn't had it's own section because honestly this is what my whole world revolves around. This is what decides if today I will be Pinterest Mom of the Year or a human mongoloid who only speaks in vowels. 

How much I sleep, he sleeps, if he sleeps, how often he sleeps, how long he sleeps. sleep...sleep...did I say sleep? Every day of my life is trying to teach this tiny human to sleep and sneak some in for myself. There's so many stages you go through as a first time mom. Here's mine:

Stage 1
In the beginning you do anything to get them to sleep, so you can sleep. You respond to every single whimper. They say you can't spoil a newborn. Nursing is the go-to. Its so easy. You present your boob...and the tiny human goes to sleep...on you. Magic. [0-8 weeks. Admittedly, I probably did this for way too long]

Stage 2
You realize your nipples are pink and raw. You've become a walking pacifier. Your child wants nothing from you but your nipple. He's a nipple grazer...snacking on the tit as he sees fit. (Killian would head bang my shoulder in protest if I event tried to hug him. It was nipple or nothing) You feel claustrophobic. You decide its time to switch to feed/wake/sleep. You still can't bear to listen to a whimper so you gently rock him to sleep and you replace your nipple...with another nipple...a pacifier. Your nipples become less raw...you feel like you have more freedom. This is awesome. 5 minutes of rocking with a paci... and the tiny human goes to sleep. Magic. [8-14 weeks]

Stage 3
Your child becomes much more alert. He wants to see the world and everything around him even though he's yawned 4 times and rubbed his eyes for the past 10 minutes....you're spending 30 minutes rocking him, while playing "Hello" on repeat, with the white noise machine on in the back ground and a pacifier in his mouth. You've created a monster. You try and put him "down sleepy, but not asleep" like the books say, but as soon as you do his eyes shoot wide open and he smirks at you in rebellion. He finally breaks you. You give up...put him in his crib...and walk away. He cries...and cries...and suddenly... the tiny human goes to sleep. Magic. [14-17 weeks]

Some of you may have been blessed with amazing sleepers, but Killian's only claim to "sleep fame" is that he's never confused day with night. He's never woken up in the middle of the night and wanted to play...and for that...I thank baby Jesus. He wakes up for boob and then goes right back to sleep. However during the day, he has no routine, no schedule. I've tried and tried and tried, but he's a victim of the 45 minute intruder and his mama's stubborn gene. So ya...30-45 minutes after falling asleep, he's back up. In case you didn't know, 30-45 minutes is just enough time to pee, make yourself some food and wash 4 dishes. How the hell do you put a kid on a 3 hour schedule when they nap for 30-45 minutes...and are only supposed to be awake for 1.5 hrs max? How the hell do you have "consistent nap times" when nap length varies thus shifting the entire schedule? Well...you learn to listen to them cry...and tell yourself over and over "its for his own good". So I'm publicly saying it. I let my son cry this week. I probably have cried more than he has, but the alternative isn't an option. He ends up over tired b/c his naps are too short and I end up stressed and stuck on this infinite loop of feed, play, feed myself, wash 4 dishes. So now he's learning to self soothe....it's been 4 days. This is Stage 4.

Stage 4
 I rock him for 5 minutes to help him unwind and get into a quiet headspace, but then he goes into the crib wide awake...and cries...and then falls asleep. Every day his naps have gotten longer and his cries have gotten shorter. It's working. He seems happier, less cranky. Yesterday he pretty much figured it out. Why didn't I do this sooner?

A lot of people have told me to add rice cereal or formula to help him sleep longer, but the hippy mom in me just can't. In my mind...his tiny body isn't designed to have formula or my boobs would make formula...and if he doesn't have teeth? Then his little body isn't ready for solids. I know my life would probably be easier if I took this advice, but I'm holding out. He's happy and healthy...and growing. The longer I can keep his baby gut clean...the better for his immune system. I also read there was a link between introducing solids before 6 months and food allergies...and since Anthony has a nut allergy...my goal is to make it to 6 months. And in the mean time...he can just learn how to be awesome at soothing himself to sleep. Please note that I reserve the right to completely change my mind tomorrow lol

So ya...every day is a process.

I put Killian down for a nap on Sunday and he went straight to sleep and napped for 1 hr 30 minutes. I checked on him at least 5 times to make sure he was breathing. Made me feel like everything I'm doing isn't for nothing.

Killian pooped. I went to change his diaper and I found a diaper that was not only full of poo...but had exploded poo everywhere. It was in his fat rolls, on his penis, on his leg, on his onesie. As soon as I took he diaper off, Killian kicked his foot in the poo and started flailing it around. As I tried to catch his foot...he then grabbed his onesie I had unbuttoned and started bringing it to his mouth. I was playing poop whackamole. As soon as I'd wipey one smear, he'd create another. 14 wipes later...it was bath time. Sometimes the poo wins...sometimes it just wins. :/ Well...that was my low point until yesterday morning when the first words I hear were, "Oh my god David Bowie died."

Its so insane for me to cry over a person I never met, but people like David Bowie...transcend normal. David Bowie is my childhood. David Bowie is music. David Bowie is so many memories. The last vivid memory I have of my brother was about 2 weeks before he died. We were driving in the dark down a long winding road. Brian was DJing as per usual. He had his iPod plugged into a converter so music would play in the car. He played Elephant Love Melody from Moulin Rouge. I would sing all of Nicole Kidman's parts and he would sing Ewan McGregor's part. We sang it at the top of our lungs..."We could be heroesssss! FOREVER AND EVERRRRRRR". That car ride...is just burned into my mind. On the heels of the 10 year anniversary of Brian's death...to hear that David Bowie died...kicked me in the gut. David Bowie is my childhood. David bowie is so many memories.


-Phantom Cries...i'm fairly certain this is a thing. I haven't heard anyone mention it but...it has to be a thing, I constantly hear Killian crying...only he's not crying at all. I'll wake up from a dead sleep to his cries...only I look at the baby monitor...no crying. He'll wake up from a nap crying...only...he didn't wake up and he's still sleeping. So ya...I hear phantom cries. Anyone else?

-[YourMechanic.com] You may think this isn't baby related but I assure you it is, because when you have a baby and you need new rotors, what the hell are you supposed to do? Drop your car off and just entertain your baby for 4-5 hours out in the wild while they fix it? SO MANY LOL'S.  Firestone quoted me $1000 to fix front and back...and told me it needed to be done ASAP. I got a few quotes from around the area...cheapest I could find was $700. YourMechanic.com? $597...so I booked Auggie. He showed up on time...to my house...and was done in an hour. What's even better? He told me my back rotors were fine and I could use them for at least another year, so he only did the front ones....for $250. So ya. Never going to an auto repair shop again. Cheaper, faster, open 7 days a week, upfront costs...and I don't have to leave my house. Suck it! 

If you're interested, you can use my referral link to get a $20 gift certificate: https://www.yourmechanic.com/rl/cPoXtw308355

-Breastmilk is the new coconut oil is the new windex. Know how Mr.Focker uses Windex for everything? and then in 2011...we all started using coconut oil for everything? Breastmilk...for everything. Dry skin, goopy eyes, when he scratches his face with wolverine claws? Breastmilk. 

-Gonna be unapologetically honest with you guys, b/c that's what I do. I ran out of Almond Milk on Sunday and I needed to eat my breakfast...so I took the extra 2 oz I pumped from my engorged boob only moments before and grabbed a spoon. Was a bit weird to get over the mental hurdle, but after the first bite...I was fine. Just tasted like normal cereal, only difference is that there was a definite after taste. Tasted like my son's slobbery kisses. I don't plan on making a habit of it but...good. to. know.

-I am not the penis master. I have basic knowledge of a penis. Basic. So when I saw Killian's penis last night at bath time and it looked like it had some weird deep hole at the tip, I of course shouted for Anthony. Anthony came running. I'm like, "What is wrong with his penis?" Anthony looked, relaxed and laughed... and said "Oh it does that sometimes." I'm like, "What? When. I've never seen it do that before." He's like, "It's just the foreskin...sometimes it folds in on itself. It works its way out. Don't touch it." So i dont know if any of you are circumcising or not, but we did not. And sometimes foreskin folds in on itself...and apparently don't touch it. *It was back to norm this morning.

The past few weeks have been my favorite since he was born. He's a little person now. It's so awesome to interact with him, make him smile, make him laugh. It's insane to watch a person...become a person.


*My guess is he's maybe 2 weeks away from sitting up completely on his own without falling over at all. There's a strong core underneath those fat rolls.

*Not only does he grab toys with purpose...he examines them...shakes them...and inevitable bites them lol

*He decided that this week, the only noise he wanted to make was this high pitch shriek that sounds like a Velociraptor. So...if you say anything to him...he shrieks back. It's weird. Hoping it passes lol

*It's become almost impossible to change his diaper or put on clothes. The moment I lay him down, he starts doing the wiggle worm jig. He kicks, rolls to his side, grabs his feet, grabs the diaper...it's a freak show. 

*He's rolled over a few more times this week, but I still don't think he's doing it on purpose. Every time he rolls over he looks shocked lol But he's done it from front to back and back to front so...yay :)

I'll hand it to Marty. As much as he completely ignores Killian on an every day basis...when I started CIO this week, Marty seemed genuinely concerned. The baby monitor goes off and Marty looks at me, looks at the monitor, looks at me, looks at the monitor...as if to say..."Do you hear that? He's crying". He got antsy. He'd paced back and forth...until he stopped. It was really adorable and it was nice to know that Marty has his back...even though he ignores him lol

One of my New Years Resolutions is to replace at least one household item with something less toxic every month. It's one of my many steps towards convincing my husband to let me be a Stay At Home Mom. 

For January, I made my own Swiffer Cleaning Solution. 

  • 4 cups distilled water
  • 4 cups distilled vinegar
  • A couple drops of lavender and eucalyptus oil

I also ditched the expensive disposable pads and just use an old hand towel. It's a million times more efficient and I just throw it in the laundry after. 

My house smells amazing and I saved money. Works great on my wood floors, laminate floors and tile. (Pro tip: To reuse the bottle...submerge the Swiffer Cleaning Solution cap in the boiled water for a couple minutes so you can loosen it off, b/c that sucker is glued on there.)

Being a mom is on-the-job-training. You are thrown into a cold, dark, deep pool and have to teach yourself to swim before you drown...or at least keep your head above water. The past 4 months have been a series of trial and error...figuring out what works best for him and for ME. I'll let you know when I figure it out.