Let me tell you a story about my numb urethra.  So I peed earlier this week, as I usually do.  I then grabbed the appropriate amount of tp and went to wipe...when lo and behold, apparently I was still peeing.  Now this was startling for me, since it DIDN'T FEELING LIKE I WAS PEEING ANYMORE!  was my vagina numb? was my pee weightless? has my baby crushed some kind of vagina nerve that makes me feel?  The answer to that...I'll never know.  That was Monday...and now? well now I play this game called "am I done peeing?" Doing a spot check isn't as easy as it once was, with my big belly eclipsing my eyesight...so now I just kinda hover for 10-15 seconds and hope for the best.  I've heard of pregnant people peeing themselves when they laugh, but never of phantom pee.  But that's what I have guys...phantom pee. The struggle is real.

25 weeks...so 15 weeks left...less 4 months...basically 105 days, but who's counting ...or...OMG! I just thought of a brilliant idea.  Advent calendars for pregnant women!!  ...you buy a different one for each trimester and it's 90-ish days of chocolate, i.e. the countdown...and maybe some kind of witty or inspiring remark behind each chocolate like "you are a goddess for waking up this morning"  or "you earned this piece of chocolate honey...and it's ok if you want to eat tomorrows too".  Guys I'm going to be a gagillionaire.  I would eat that chocolate countdown for sure.

DUE DATE: September 13, 2015

I didn't step on the scale this morning b/c I didn't poop and I like to be accurate. I'm sure I've gained another lb...correction HE has gained another pound b/c HE is the fat one.  (good save Kristen)

Glasses.  I wear my reading glasses approximately 3-4 times a year.  Well my baby has begun syphoning my perfect eyesight, b/c now I'm wearing them every day.  Hoping this is a temporary setback. 

Lots of kicks.  Kicks are getting stronger... and lower... and kind of at inappropriate times in inappropriate places, but he's just living his life, doing this thing so I guess I can't fault him for it.

Linea Nigra has begun to form.  Not really sure the point of this line, but it kind of reminds me of Kinder Eggs I used to eat when I was a kid...and the line was where you cracked it open and found a toy you'd put together, so ...nostalgia. 

Is this really a thing?  I keep waiting for my middle of the night whacky craving so I can send Anthony to do the right-of-passage task of fetching it, but on the food front it's been business as usual.  I mean I've had to cut out spicy food and hot sauce due to the wrath of heartburn, but I can honestly say I haven't had a single craving for food. 

SLEEP: Whatever.  

it's flat.  not in, not out...just a weird swirl of skin in the middle of my body missing it's bedazzled jewelry.  Not sure if you can see it below...but it's there.  Also what you're seeing is the formation of birthing hips.  Just call me Shakira!

This is like the shittest section on my blog and I wish I could just delete it with no one noticing, but alas I guess it keeps me honest.  I walked on the treadmill once last week...for 15 minutes...on a 2.5, 7 incline.  Also I put a dresser together.  My plan is so start working out again come Monday.

My mom got me 4 of the most comfortable bras I've ever known.  They aren't lacy, there's no push up or padding...there is literately nothing on them that a Victoria Secret model would prance around the room in.  They are underwire-less, have snaps for nursing and hold in the monstrosities that my titties have become.  They have a job and they do it well. 

For our maternity tour of the hospital.  Sounds kinda lame, but towards the end of June we're gonna do a walk through and my pre-registration, which I know is standard procedure, but I'm pretty excited about it.  Might help me to start visualizing and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. 

My family.  Its really hard being pregnant and not having a single family member closer than a flight away. :/  And my family couldn't be farther away...parents in DC, sister in Orlando...extended family in Chicago...Anthony's family in England.  I wish when he was born, that I had the luxury of family to lean on.  When my parents come to visit me, this huge weight lifts off my chest and I instantly feel more relaxed and supported. I already know it takes a village.  Here is a picture of my mom, my grandma and me.  Below that is a picture of the entire gang...

UPDATE ON BREATHING AIR: He shifted from my lung back to my sciatic nerve so... breathing has been easier and my sanity has come back.  

AGAIN, I know I posted this last week but I don't really feel the gif got the appreciation it deserves.  Can we just take it all in? Also please let me know if any of you know who created it.