HEALTH UPDATE: Unfortunately my blood platelet did drop again, so we're just going to have to keep monitoring them and make sure they don't go down to a potentially dangerous level. The results of my nerve test where kind of inconclusive. The doctor is assuming it's localized numbness in my nerves due to edema. Blood pressure seems to of stabilized again. Foot is still sprained and I'm hobbling around this big ass belly.
HOW FAR ALONG:
34 weeks. Where the hell has this year gone? Football season is about to start, PSL's will be back at Starbucks and I'm going to have grown a entire human from scratch. 2015, you my friend...are weird.
Peeing a lot more frequently, blurry vision, swelling... And just this week I've also started to get period-like cramps and upset stomachs, which is blah, but google says it's normal so, I'll suck it up.
Ok...so not for nothing, but I was in the hospital 2 weeks ago for some pretty serious medical conditions that I still currently have. I was blind in one eye, had high blood pressure, low blood platelets, protein in my urine, etc...I was admitted to the hospital...and like...
I went to work the next day.
Not because I felt better, but b/c I had to. I went through my day at work exhausted, scared, with blurry vision, feeling like I wanted to vomit and that overall I just needed to lay the fuck down and slow my roll. To be honest, it probably wasn't even safe for me to drive myself to work...but I did. Why? Because I can't afford to not work, b/c I felt this overcompensating feeling to prove I can still do my job even though I'm pregnant, b/c I want to make sure I have a job to come back to after I give birth and not be perceived as weak or a "complainer"...for all of these stupid reasons, which should come second to my health, I went to work the next day and every day since.
I know it's not just me. We live in this society where people go to work sick every day, b/c they can't afford not to. And it's not okay. I mean...I will work up until my water breaks on the floor, then that day...either push a baby out of my vagina or be cut open and have him extracted...and then hurry up real fast and heal b/c I have only a few weeks before I have to get back to work. Forget bonding, sleeping, breastfeeding or like... putting your body and hormones back together. Suck it up and get back to work b/c we're not waiting for you to "heal". How dismissive we are and unsympathetic to pregnancy and motherhood has really slapped me in the face hard the past few months. How are we, The United States of America...the only developed country on the planet that doesn't offer some type of paid maternity leave? How does Mexico offer 12 weeks and we offer nothing? What the fuck ever.
The state gives free money, medical insurance, aid, education and all kinds of handouts to career criminals, illegals, and lazy people who'd rather just sit at home and suck the tit of the American tax payer, yet a pregnant woman and mother can't get a break to grow and raise a human for a few weeks? It's unreal. And it really upsets me. This pregnancy would have been so different if I could've just relaxed, taken care of myself and had a couple days off here and there. Instead, its been hard and stressful and frankly...traumatic. I'm not trying to grow armpit hair or burn bras...or throw a pity party for myself...and I definitely never look for handouts, but jesus. Women are strong. Very strong. We don't get enough credit for what we take on and suck up. If a man had to be pregnant for just 2 hours, LAWS WOULD CHANGE! I am so proud of myself and everything I've done these past 8 1/2 months. I've pushed my body, mind and soul to limits I didn't think possible. Sure I've made it through, but it still doesn't make it right, just means I'm strong enough. All I know is... I shouldn't be praying for a c section because that'll mean I get disability for 2 extra weeks, which is two more weeks I can spend with my baby, but I do. end rant (for the record, this is a rant on maternity leave and society, not the company I work for...my bosses have been very understanding.)
Shelby and I both share an affliction for ice chips. She hears them getting crushed from the fridge and then follows me around like I'm the pied piper of the town until I give her some. We are the ice chip gang.
Sleep has been epic. Can't say enough about hypnobirthing. Just collecting all my Zzzzzz's while I still can.
This is what I'll look like as a mother...or at least how I did in 1995. Only my arm muscle tone is a lot less Michelle Obama these days.
BELLY BUTTON, STRETCH MARKS AND WEDDING RINGS:
Belly button is out, wedding ring off and still no stretch marks. Could it be? Could I make it through this whole thing without stretch marks? Here's to hoping.
Yoga and...my new secret thing is going in my bedroom, turning on some tunes and like dancing/flailing my body around until I get winded. No dvd's, no time restrictions, no judging...just straight up raw dancing. I like it b/c I know I'm doing cardio, but I can stop whenever and like...I'm awesome. Wish I could share video with you, but I don't think that'd be good for either one of us.
For my 3rd trimester screening next week! Gonna measure fetal height, weight, position and fl oz of amniotic fluid. I haven't see my little man since 20 weeks, so I'm pretty stoked to see his cute little shoulder again and see how big he's gotten. My dream is that they tell me he's in position and measuring 38 weeks and could come tomorrow and then I would be like "why thank you doctor...and thank you baby...glad we're on the same page" and then I ride off into the sunset.
Ummmmm idk...whatever, let's skip this one lol Trying to not look backwards this week.
On another note, I met with and decided on a pediatrician, which I'm pretty excited about. For all of you that know me, you know I research an unhealthy amount, so to find "the one" was very satisfactory for me. Also, he laughed at my jokes and promised he wouldn't judge my son's wiener for being uncircumcised. Laugh all you want, but in the heavily Jewish city I live in...Los Angeles...you gotta make sure about things like this. To each their own, but my little guy's wiener is gonna stay intact. His father is adamant that it's "the best bit".