I told myself I would never "dress like a mom” or have “mom hair”. I would never lose my identity in motherhood. But there I was this morning…standing in the mirror looking back at a total mom. I mean I haven’t reached full broach-wearing status…but I’m arguably, one Pandora bracelet away from some hipster calling me "Ma'am". So here’s my confession. I haven’t worn skinny jeans in a while, because if I do, I have to choose between letting my mom pooch hang over the front like a saggy beer belly OR…OR…I have to tuck my mom pooch into my jeans. Yes you read that correctly. I have to tuck my skin…into my jeans. And that's just something I'm not prepared to do every morning. Dear 1980’s…you were so kind to bless women with the invention of mom jeans…those high waist miracles that protected a generation from belly tucking. Dear 2000’s ultra low rise jeans…f&^k you. 

And its not just the jeans…there’s the tight shirts. I’m either nipping through, leaking through or just overall feeling insecure about, well..exhaling and my pooch becoming untucked. 

So I get it moms…we wear things that hide our insecurities. We embrace comfort. Flowy shirts give you the confidence to do thing like …bend over. Yoga pants squeeze you in the right places…and ugly bras make you feel like your boobs are floating on clouds. As proud as I am of everything my body has been through the past year and a half…it didn’t come out unscathed. There are war wounds…battle scars…and extra baggage. And I guess I just do want to look at it every day. And there’s nothing wrong with that. 

I haven’t reached "mom hair cut” level, but that’s because my face shape simply isn’t made for the pixie. I just can’t pull it off. But my hair is 98% of the time pulled back into a tight ponytails so that my son doesn’t grab it with this slobbery hands. So…maybe I don’t look cool anymore, but …I made a human and that has to count for something. #SkinTucking #ItsReal #ItsHumbling

I love how my son can’t communicate so like...I basically just wing it every day. lol I have no idea if I’m feeding him the right stuff. No clue if I’m breastfeeding him too much. Couldn’t possibly tell you if he should be eating more solids. There’s not really a handbook for this whole thing. There’s the internet, but that’s basically a sea of 14000 conflicting ideas. So I have no clue what I’m doing. hahaha I mean I know he’s gaining weight and he’s healthy, but you can never really know if you’re setting your child up for a life full of chicken nuggets and skittles.

So right now I’m breastfeeding, but like I know he should eat more solids…but purees are kind pointless for teaching him to chew and swallow…but he’s super picky…so I feel like one of those street vendors selling watches…only inside my trench coat is 2 jars of puree, 4 different flavors of pouches, apple slices and a banana. Just everything he could possibly want, because if I can’t produce food he wants, he'll do a dive, face first into my shirt…trying to sniff out my nipple. 

It was time for Killian’s 2nd nap of the day. Despite showing the signs of sleepy time (yawning, whining, etc), he seemed far more alert than usual. So I pick him up and just try to hold him over my shoulder and rock him. He starts talking to himself, babbling right into my ear. So I go “uh” and he goes “uh”. Then I go “ah” and he goes “ah”. At this point he moves his head so we’re cheek to cheek. He was listening...responding. So I go “woop” and he goes “woop”. I go "uh" and he goes "uh". We were talking in our own way and it felt like such a sweet memory. We were so connected and I knew it. I knew this was my chance....So I sweetly whispered “mama” and gentle whispered back “dad dad”. FOILED! hahaha

was worried about K’s dry skin so I went and got him Aveeno Baby Eczema. I’ve never put anything on his skin besides coconut oil. I don’t use shampoo or body wash…or any lotions. Never have. Well I thought I’d try this because of a few dry patches that weren't going away. He woke up with red welts all over his back. It was horrible. I cried. I couldn’t figure out why K had woken up so many times that night. Now I knew. First unschedule trip to the pediatrician and we left with some hydrocortisone and Aquaphor. Thankfully the welts went away…and with the Aquaphor, the dry patch did too. Ugh…the things they put in some of these baby products should really be criminal.

Keeps waking up early. I blame the sun. I swear he can smell it. These long days of summer need to shut up already. Bring on the fall, when the sun sets at 5PM and rises at 7:30!

Still walking. He loves walking. If he’s in the mood, he can do a long stretch. If he’s in a lazy mood he looks like Anthony at 4AM circa 2009 (running into things and falling over). He’s had a lot of falls and tumbles. So many bruises.

I have been changing his diaper for 9 1/2 months now. It’s the same drill over and over again. So prey tell me why…why must he fight it so much? His new thing is rolling on his stomach and refusing to lay on his back for a diaper change, then crying hysterically when you won't let him. He’s testing my patience.

100% left handed. I taught him how to high five…and if he’s eating with something in his left hand. He will move it to his right, so he can high give you with his left. lol Hilarious. Also his high fives are so sweet.

He has the gentlest high five in and across the land 🖐

A video posted by Kristen Quintrall (@kristenquintrall) on

We’ve been playing ball a lot. If I give him the ball and ask for one, he’ll put it in my hand and smile big. So I guess he likes sharing with mom…that’s a start.

Loves being in the pool.

Also loves pulling the dogs tails, trying to steal the dog’s food bowls and knocking over the dog’s water bowl. So that’s fun. Oh and unravelling toilet paper rolls.

We may have a soccer player on our hands…

Foot work 👌

A video posted by Kristen Quintrall (@kristenquintrall) on

I always lived my life all over the place…thinking about the future, dwelling on the past and occasionally indulging in the present. The day I had K, all that changed. The past didn’t matter and the future was unpredictable. I had no time to waste with either. When you have a kid, they will drag you into the present and make sure you are living in the exact moment with them. There’s no plans to be made about tomorrow…or even 2 hours from now. You are there, in that moment, creating a memory. It’s kind of cool. It’s liberating. It makes time just fly by when you aren’t wasting it on things you can no longer change, or things that may never happen. Its one of the very cool pro’s of being a mom. You get to see things for the first time through someone else’s eyes. You watch them discover everything…as it’s happening.