ME AND MY BODY:
I said I would work out this week…and I did. Every effing day…i did. And to think… only 77 more days to go. FML lol I live-streamed my workouts on FB and have been blogging all about it in my new HEALTH section. If you want to jump on in with me, you should, because I’m 98% certain I’m working out alone…and well... that’s kind of embarrassing. Either way, I’m gonna keep going. Exercising has been a game changer. It’s like my hot new social hour with all my internet friends...in yoga pants.
I also I said I’d cut out TV…and I did. 7 days…not a single show, news clip or commercial. I turned off the tv and?…and I honestly never want to turn it on again, except for when Walking Dead and Doctor Who come back…and football season, because… obvi. I’ve been so much happier. Cutting it out of my life flipped a switch, from darkness to light. I know that sounds incredibly melodramatic, but I’m telling you…this whole election season had filled me with so much hate I wasn’t even aware of. Hate for the candidates, the people who support them, the media, Congress, the ignorance and misinformation, what was happening to our cops, to black people…what was happening to America. I’ve never known it to be so…so ugly. Every day I could feel my blood pressure rise and seeing the corruption made me feel small and helpless. So I did the one thing I could…I turned it off. I know that doesn’t make it all go away…but at least its not on the forefront of my mind. And that has helped me to focus on things that make me happy. I was able to find time to workout, blog every day, cook, and play with my son. Killian and I played so much and he smiled more, interacted more, and took a giant mental leap. Turning off the tv was the best decision I ever made.
And thirdly…well that goes into my next section.
HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEK:
Thirdly I said I’d go to church, completing the trifecta of mind, body and soul cleanse...and I did. I woke up Sunday morning determined. I hadn’t scoped out the daycare situation fully, but I was gonna take Killian to hear the music and stay for the message as long as he’d let me. That was the plan. Then all of a sudden Anthony decides he wants to come too. Crazy that I’ve been begging him to come with me since Killian was born and there’s always an excuse…but this time…with one foot out the door, he wanted to come. It’s like when you tell a child, “Ok I’m leaving…byeeeee and suddenly they put their shoes are super fast so they aren’t left behind.” lol
So we went early and scoped out the daycare. Anthony clung to Killian like a dingle berry on a long haired dog’s asshole. He wasn’t letting go. But we’d filled out all the forms, toured the facility, met the women, shook hands with security…everything was set up in case we changed our mind once service started.
The music started. The lights were flashing, everyone was singing…. and the band…well the band is awesome. Anthony’s always loved this church specifically for the band. He approves of the music lol So there we were. Anthony was holding Killian and dancing. If there are two things true about my son it’s that he’s obsessed with lights and music…so he was in a trance. He was laughing, smiling, and 100% hypnotized. And I did what I do... I cried. Felt good to be back at church. I’ve missed it. But I cried because this time was so much more. This time I was sharing it with my son. I was sharing, for the first time, this big important part in my life. I know he’s a baby. I know he won’t remember anything that transpired. But for the first time it dawned on me that this is something that I’m going to be able to share with him…and it just brought tears to my eyes. I started thinking about all the memories I had from sunday school, youth groups, mission trips…just how essential my faith had been through my entire childhood till today. Seeing both my husband and son dancing along…took my breath away. I look forward to him finding his own spirituality whatever it may be. But in that moment, I felt so hopeful.
The music ended and it was clear Killian was going to cause a scene, so I convinced Anthony to drop him off at the church daycare. And when it was all over and we went to pick him up, he was sat laughing and smiling and playing with other babies. He didn’t seem remotely interested that we’d come back. I can’t express to you how overwhelmed the whole experience made me. Nothing could’ve made me happier, except on the way home, when Anthony turned to me and said, “That’s it. We’re doing it. Every Sunday, no excuses. Lets make this our family’s thing. We go to church, get some lunch and Sundays are family days. No work, no nothing besides the three of us.”
That? HIGHLIGHT OF MY YEAR!
This whole purge/cleanse has been so refreshing. It’s pulled me out of a slump for sure. Now to just make some damn mom friends.
LOWLIGHT OF THE WEEK:
Having to admit to people that I actually ate a McDonalds McNugget Mighty Kids Meal….like 2 days into my diet.
At Killian’s check up on Friday, the pediatrician starts asking about his diet. So I listed off all the fruits and veggies Killian eats. I’m all …butternut squash, sweet potato, peppers, onions, etc I was so proud of myself. My pediatrician’s response? “So he doesn’t eat any greens?” I’m like well, he sometimes eats peas…how about kiwi? lol does kiwi count? ::disappointing look from pediatrician:: Then I proceed to tell him that he doesn’t like green vegetables and refuses to eat them and gets angry even if I offer them to him. He then starts giving me a motivational speech. I could hear the Rocky music start to swell as he said things like “you can do this” “you have the power” “if he turns down the food, then he doesn’t eat” “don’t let him dictate what happens, he’s a baby”.
I was high…drunk on this feeling like I was gonna go home and win the battle of vegetable wits. I wouldn’t have a picky eater. He’d given me permission to let my child skip a meal. I mean he said…”If he doesn’t eat, then he doesn’t eat. Don’t offer him an alternative. He’ll learn that if he’s hungry, he’ll take it. And by a year of age, he’ll have a full palette and eat everything.” So I bought broccoli, green beans and cucumber. I sliced them evenly, added a touch of spice and presented him my masterpiece…and he? Well he threw it all on the floor and cried. Today is day 4. The score is Killian 4…and me… 0.
Still pretty shit. I’ve been doing COI, but he still keeps waking up in the middle of the night crying. Not sure what’s up. He eventually goes back to sleep, but then it takes me an hour to fall asleep...so I’ve been fairly sleep deprived yet again. I just keep thinking, "Damn, baby…when you gonna sleep like a normal person, yo?"
Walking, walking, walking. He’s fully mobile. He’s even standing up on his own from sitting down, without pulling up on things…which is insane. I much prefer him walking…less dog hair to get on his hands and then inevitably in his mouth.
The “Mom Mom” heard around the world!! The pediatrician told me that due to how physically advanced Killian is, that I shouldn’t be surprised if he’s verbally delayed. He said in his experience, specifically boys who are super active, just don’t sit still long enough to pay attention to words and learn them. He told me not to get discouraged, but to just try and get his attention over the coming months and if Killian can say 3 words by 12 months, that would be the norm. Not sure why I got so defensive, but it felt like he was saying he didn’t think my kid could be both smart and sporty. That he was assuming that because he excelled in one, that he wouldn't in another. I know i’m exaggerating here, but I heard the words…dumb jock. I was offended.
So that night at bath time I grab some of Killian’s foam letters. I grab the K and the M. And I go “K…ka, ka, ka, ka KILLIAN. “M mmm, mmm, mmm, Mama” I did this over and over again. He was hypnotized by me…and probably slightly confused. He watched my mouth, listened to the sounds and laughed. I was committed to him speaking 3 words clearly like by a year…AND you bet your ass, Mama was gonna be one of them. Saturday morning and what’s the first thing out of his mouth? MomMom, MomMom, Mom, MomMom…I swear to God. All he said all day was Mum and hasn't stopped since. So suck on that mister Doctor. But also, MomMom is literately the single greatest thing anyone has ever called me. Melts my heart when he cries for me now. I can ignore a whine…but if he says MomMom…I’ll move mountains. I’m whipped.
He became very inquisitive on how things work. He’s started taking things apart and trying to put them back together. Trying to find out how things fit, and how things open and close.
He suddenly has become way more aware of the dogs…and wants to be their best friend. Sadly…only one of my dogs actually likes him.
I started giving him food right off my plate at every meal…which so far, he hasn’t not liked a single thing. Guess he likes my cooking. However…I guess that means I have to try and eat more greens so he will. I give him huge chunks of food and don’t cut it up. He never chokes and seems to chew/swallow just fine. Am I doing this wrong?
Still trying to figure out when he’s gonna grow more hair. What little he has is so blonde, it’s not visible.
Still have’t put my kid in shoes. I know he’s walking now and I should…but dear lord…is there a trick to getting shoes on feet? I obviously haven’t figured it out because he kicks them right off. Baby shoes…terrible inventions. Think I’ll just keep him barefoot or in socks for a little bit longer.
He started resisting going to the bathroom on the toilet, so we’re taking a break and gonna come back later in a couple weeks. Might need to try a baby toilet or something. Right now it’s just him unravelling the toilet paper.
END OF THE WEEK THOUGHTS:
I will never doubt Killian and what he's capable of, because this kid never ceases to amaze me. I’m not sure if it’s because of all the one on one time with me, or if he was just born awesome, but he’s going places…and I’m just trying to keep up. He’s strong willed, determined…and persistent. He wanted to walk, and by God…he walked. He wants to look at the lights, so he paid attention and learned both the sign and word for "light". I've taught him 10 different signs, yet he will only repeat back milk and light…because he wants them bad enough. So I’m just gonna keep teaching him and pushing him, because he genuinely seems to enjoy learning new stuff. And I think today was the first time I realized that no matter who Killian turns out to be…I will never let anyone put him in a box. Never. He can be whoever he wants to be. I’m gonna teach him to crash the walls of any box anyone places him in. But I have a feeling he’ll be pretty good at doing that all on his own. #BoyMom