6 WEEKS - I PEE MAPLE SYRUP

6 WEEKS - I PEE MAPLE SYRUP

"At my 6 week appt...my OB was checking out the goods, doing a mini pap smear type looksee and then he's all, "oh by the way I have to check your rectum" (AS HE STICKS HIS FINGER IN MY BUTT). I love how he just tells me as he's already doing it. He mustve thought he was a magician who had mastered the art of misdirection...and he would be correct. I was surprised."...

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4 WEEKS - THE WAR AGAINST DOG HAIR

4 WEEKS - THE WAR AGAINST DOG HAIR

"I'll say it...I use to love my boobs. They were so perky and overtly average. They had no job...no appointments...no agenda besides sitting there looking awesome nuzzled in a lacy decorative bra. I had quarter-sized beautiful, pink areolas and teeny tiny nipples. Now? 4 times darker and larger, they wake up, strap on an industrial, flesh-colored nursing bra... and go to work all day, every day. They fluctuate between rock solid melons and deflated flapjacks; there's no in between. My boobs hail one leader and lets just say his only qualification in life is shitting himself."...

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