Today I began the UFC Fit workout. I won't lie. I had no motivation whatsoever. On top of that, I also had a million excuses not to workout. "I was tired" being the main one. Then there's always the default "I have a kid...so I'm too busy". Unfortunately for me, I'd already declared my intent on Facebook...so it was time to punch, kick and burpee the belly fat off.
Still in the clothes I slept in, I pulled my hair back in a bun and whacked on an old sports bra. I was ready to go...until 4 jumping jacks in, my boobs dropped like two bricks off a very tall building. "What the hell happened?", I thought. That's when I looked down...
Guys, the elastic on my sports bra...I don't wanna say snapped, because there was no snap left in it... It just kinda... disintegrated. It crumbled like dust. Particles flew to the floor. It was like some over the top commentary from the universe on how long it's been since I'd worked out. Like the hyperbole of cobwebs in a vagina. My sports bra was so ancient...it turned to dust. I'm not making this up. I stood there in disbelief. I swear every dog and baby was staring at me and my dangling ta ta's. I could've said, screw it and taken it as a sign. Instead, I swept the dignity dust off the floor, trashed the bra, and continued. #MomLife
THINGS I LEARNED WHILE WORKING OUT
1. Pajamas double as workout clothes. No need to create more laundry.
2. I need to vacuum under the couch
3. Killian's play mats are fantastic workout mats.
4. I need to wear a knee brace.
5. Muscle memory has a life span...and it's roughly 9 months of pregnancy + 10 months.
6. Elastic is not forever. So ya...all of my sports bra have expired.
7. I definitely need more sports bras or Kililan will be drinking milkshakes.
8. When you workout with a baby, any kind of floor exercise will result in you working out with an additional 25 lbs. Give or take...
9. It is, in fact, possible to get sore even before the workout ends.
10. Every dog and every baby wants your undivided attention...as soon a you start making a commotion and jumping around.
I'm glad I did it. I probably gave it about 80%, but it's still better than the long term relationship my ass has had with the couch, so...baby steps. I did Power Punch, which is basically an overwhelming amount of squats with arm weights.
Here's my fancy workout mat:
Here's my top of the line 25 lb weight...
Here's Mike Dolce...acting like this shit is easy.
FOOD (I'm not a nutritionist. I'm just letting ya know what I ate in case you were curious)
Kashi Go Lean Crunch
7 giant organic strawberries
2 trader joes potato pancakes
Roasted Brussel Sprouts and Butternut Squash
My own turkey burger creation I made a huge batch of:
Ground Turkey, Minced Onions, Peppers, Garlic, Jalapeños, Black Pepper, Cumin, Cayenne, Cinnamon....and Oat Bran. They're delicious and mega healthy.
More Dried Mango
DRANK ABOUT 3/4 OF A GALLON OF WATER TODAY...Kinda low.
After reading this, it appears I eat a shit ton of fruit lol