There are so many things you learn when you become a stay at home mom. One of the first things I learned many fracking people ring my door bell on a given day. It's seriously ridiculous how many solicitors walk up to your door and try to sell you crap...or Jesus. 

Here's the scenario: You finally get your baby to sleep. You lay down, exhausted. You close your eyes. You are asleep for 5-8 minutes when some asshat rings the doorbell. All three of your dogs go into a barking frenzy. It's chaos. The barking scares the shit out of you. You wake up, baby wakes up. You have a strong urge to grab your shot gun and end the person at the front door. That's when you decide to make a polite sign instead of being the new subject of Netflix's "Making a Murder...only she did it".

So here's what you'll need:

8x10 Canvas
Mod Podge
Hot Glue Gun
Rope or Ribbon
Winning Attitude

Step One - Download this file. It's 8 x 10 inches. If you'd like the photoshop file, let me know and I'll email it to you...that way you can change colors and fonts.

Step Two - Print the file. I would recommend printing it on photo paper or thicker paper. Otherwise the ink will bleed like mine did (which I like b/c it looks vintage, but whateves)

Step Three - Apply mod podge with a brush to an 8 x 10 canvas. I used the matte finish so there'd be no glare...for optimal reading for the Jehovah Witnesses. I bought mine at JoAnn Fabrics for $4.99 b/c I used a 50% off coupon which are readily available on their website. The canvas I had [in a craft box I haven't touched in 9 years], but you can get a 10 pack for like $10 if you plan on going sign-happy.

Step Four - Apply printed photo to the canvas. Use a credit card to work out any air bubbles.  If you don't have a credit card...a Kroger rewards card will do. A subway punch card isn't thick enough.

Step Five - Brush Mod Podge over the photo. Make sure you get the corners and edges to round it out. I first brushed horizontal, then went over it vertically. Also, by doing this you get a textured look. Textured looks make the solicitors know you are serious.

Step Six - Walk away...let it dry

Step Seven - Grab your rope or ribbon or whatever you want to use and super glue it to the back corners. 

Step Eight - Hang your sign and marvel at how awesome you are...and how much more sleep you'll get. :)

So one's knocked!